Monday, November 12, 2012

Parenting Tips : Sibling Rivalry

Not that I am an expert..but I am on the opposite side, seeking for advice from those parents who have gone through this process and succeed.
Time to hug- tactics to get attention
I've posted a status yesterday in Facebook seeking for advice from parents out there who have the experience on handling the sibling rivalry.
Here are some of the advice:
They wanted the attention
Find the root cause.. or find their papa/abah! hehe good one!
Sabar and sabar...(which wasn't my forte!)
And as usual, Mr Google helps me with more experts opinion.

Let see what Kids Health says (click here for full article):

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other!)Soo true!

It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids get along.

Why Kids Fight

  • Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older child may react aggressively. 
  • Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments — including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Hanie usually a bit laid-back. Yang mengalah, bukan nya kakak, but Hanie
  • Special needs/sick kids. 
  • Role models. The way that parents resolve problems and disagreements sets a strong example for kids. So if you and your spouse work through conflicts in a way that's respectful, productive, and not aggressive, you increase the chances that your children will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another. If your kids see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when you have problems, they're likely to pick up those bad habits themselves. Alamak, need to control my patience and not to shout at Lissa whener this happen.
  • Set ground rules for acceptable behavior. Erm..mcm tak bley apply jeik. Lissa and Hanie, both tak makan saman!
  • Don't let kids make you think that everything always has to be "fair" and "equal" — sometimes one kid needs more than the other. Okay!!(with raising eyebrows)
  • Make sure kids have their own space and time to do their own thing — to play with toys by themselves, to play with friends without a sibling tagging along, or to enjoy activities without having to share 50-50. Lissa, you have this privilege, okay!!
  • Have fun together as a family. As in, start spending more quality times with them.
  • Keep in mind that sometimes kids fight to get a parent's attention.This is soooo true!!! If Hanie already sitting on me, Lissa datang sibuk nak jugak "sit kat mama. Hanie tepilah!"
    But within a split second, they get along together so well!

    Sayang adik! Bile nak teman main, pura2 baik la
    here is example adik will do anything kakak buat eventho it is ridiculous!

    What's your experience in handling this situation? Let's share it with me :)

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