A week to Thailand

Sawat-deeka!
Hello all

Been weeks since my last updates.
Still have not enuff time to update a lot.
Just to share a week trip to thailand last 2 weeks ago.

I got an assignment to audit a vendor at Rayong, Thailand
since my mom has to take care of my sis in her confinement month, i've got no one to take care of my baby. plus with her being a full time breastmilk consumer (consumer?? haha funny word), i've got to take her along. not that im not trusting my husband to take care of her. it's just that when he was asleep (in deeep sleep) at night, i supposed, even a bomb burst out wont wake him up..hehehe..sorry sayang.. truth hurts.hehe..So, i trust him to babysit Hanie during the day (with a full awake state).

So, here we were.. the whole family at Thailand!

We arrived at Bangkok International airport, travel another hour to Pattaya, where we stayed..which was a very very nice hotel, especially for honeymooners!

aha! bathtub in the room!!
nice!
facing pattaya ocean

okay for now. i'll get back with the whole story tomorrow....if possible..hehe
Da!!

Hanie oh Hanie (Part I)

Hanie's new progress :
1. Long Journey from in front of tv at living room to kitchen where mama's at.

2. Thumb sucking for extra comfort.

From Lissa's Diary : My Vocabulary (Episode 2)

Hello mommies out there!

Now that I'm 25 months old, i can speak a few more words compared to my last entry

1. atuunn - stands for cartoon
2. dog - yes, means dog
3. ayor or ayeer - means water
4. askum - Assalamualaikum (upgrade version from last time 'kom')
5. bislah - bismillah
6. akai - not akal in utara slang, but means pakai
7. eje - means work / kerja
8. ane? - mana?
9. agur - anggur / grape
10. wemote - remote
11. ate - mata / eyes
12. phone
13. yak - poo-poo
14. chen - pee
15. sik - nasi / rice
16. bird - real bird, or want to play with angry bird
17. phenn - elephant
18. ayam
19. car
20. bye
21. ayur - sayur / vege
22. pan - simpan
23. mous - mouth
24. pampahh! - nyampah or sampah (i kept mama guessing more..)
25. ade! - mengade (usually for my baby sister who used to cry out of sudden)
26. adan - padan muka (not a good word!)
27. nges - nangis (also for my baby sister)
28. dia dah jatuuh - advanced from last time only "jatuh"
29. jum - for jom / come on
30. call
31. sej - for message
32. lur- telur (usually refer to scramble egg mama used to make for me)
33. abeehh - finish (obviously!)
actually quite a few more.. which i couldnt recall rite now. i'll tell u olls later in my 3rd episode, okay?

Mama said she loves this picture, which cools her pregnant tummy (ha? i dont get it til now)

Love,
Lissa

Happy 2nd Birthday, Lissa (the delayed entry)

*This entry is dedicated to my beloved daughter, Nur Adriana Lissa Maisarah bt Rosman on her 2nd birthday, 2nd October 2011

Dear Lissa,

Today you are a 2 year-old toddler.

You are now being called Kakak.
I should've said a very protective and loving Kakak.
Mama, Abah and Adik love you very much.
Happy Birthday, sayang.
May Allah blessed you, dear.
May you be solehah girl.
May you'll be blessed with health, wealth and happy life.

Early this morning, I sang you a birthday song, while you were in your bath tub.

It was funny, yes, i know my voice sounded very very pitchy, especially in our bathroom
and your abah and adik were very deep in their sleep and pretty much didnt realize my "beautiful singing voice"
And you laughed and laughed

Then after everyone ready, including Abah who took so long to get ready (aha, longer than mama), we headed off to KLCC
I know you love very much fish, or you called phiisshh
So we planned to bring you to Aquaria

But first we had brunch at Secret Recipe, but you rather played with sugar and creamer.

and hanie rather played with her hands
We went to Aquaria after had our delicious brunch
and you were amazed

 and more amazed!

even at one point, mama and abah were so tired running after you

while adik had a very nice long sleep

After a long visit at Aquaria, you finished it off with a very peaceful sleep

I really hope we had a great birthday.. and i'm looking forward for more birthdays with you

Love you always,

Your mama

Breastfeeding experience & Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah.. today marked the 26th day of fasting and last day of working during Ramadhan. and Alhamdulillah my milk supply never disappoint me through out the month. though i noticed a few ounces dropped compared to last month, i still managed to maintain quite some amount of frozen ebm.

Stock during 1st month of pantang

Stock right before starting work

Stock in the mid of Ramadhan
(notice that the ice tray already gone)

Stock towards the end of Ramadhan
(and all over the fridge door)

 If anyone asked me how i managed to maintain such a supply (not to sound riak, sorry), i might have to think quite some time. seriously, i didnt take any supplement (though i tot i have to - just to replace all the nutrient flowing out of my body). For the whole month in Ramadhan i drank a lot of water after berbuka and during sahur. i also ate nearly 2 boxes of kurma!
So the result,
before fasting month :

during fasting month :

 All of these are for this bam bam:

love you
muahhhs!!
xoxo

Berbuka Puasa

Pictures during berbuka puasa with my sister and husband, Aziz

i just realized, this is the only pix the four of us

sumer happie lepas makan byk..hehehe

I heart corn!

kenyang sudda...

Learn how to do 'peace'

Lissa was not afraid of her Pakngah anymore..

Special thanks to our sponsor, Aziz, aka Pakngah :)

Next berbuka puasa, anyone?

Mana Mak?

One email i received this morning really makes my heart goes melancholic, touched deep inside my heart.. reminds me of my mum, and how i shud be thankful to God for giving me a lovely mum.
Enjoy the reading .. (i have tears in my eyes while reading it..so be prepared)

Kata Rasulullah saw. ibu 3 kali lebih utama dari ayah. Bayangkanlah berapa kali ibu lebih utama dari isteri, pekerjaan dan anak-anak sebenarnya . Solat sunat pun Allah suruh berhenti apabila ibu memanggil. - betapa penting nye ibu dr isteri kita kn..???



Jam 6.30 petang.


Mak berdiri di depan pintu. Wajah Mak kelihatan resah. Mak tunggu adik bungsu balik dari sekolah agama.
Ayah baru balik dari sawah.
Ayah tanya Mak, “Along mana?’
Mak jawab, “Ada di dapur tolong siapkan makan.”
Ayah tanya Mak lagi,” Angah mana?”
Mak jawab, “Angah mandi, baru balik main bola.”
Ayah tanya Mak, “Ateh mana?”
Mak jawab, “Ateh, Kak Cik tengok tv dengan Alang di dalam?”
Ayah tanya lagi, “Adik dah balik?”
Mak jawab, “Belum. Patutnya dah balik. Basikal adik rosak kot. Kejap lagi kalau tak balik juga jom kita pergi cari Adik.”
Mak jawab soalan ayah penuh yakin. Tiap-tiap hari ayah tanya soalan yang sama. Mak jawab penuh perhatian. Mak ambil berat di mana anak-anak Mak dan bagaimana keadaan anak-anak Mak setiap masa dan setiap ketika.

Dua puluh tahun kemudian
Jam 6.30 petang


Ayah balik ke rumah. Baju ayah basah. Hujan turun sejak tengahari.
Ayah tanya Along, “Mana Mak?”


Along sedang membelek-belek baju barunya. Along jawab, “Tak tahu.”
Ayah tanya Angah, “Mana Mak?”


Angah menonton tv. Angah jawab, “Mana Angah tahu.”
Ayah tanya Ateh, “Mana Mak?”
Ayah menunggu lama jawapan dari Ateh yang asyik membaca majalah.
Ayah tanya Ateh lagi, "Mana Mak?"
Ateh menjawab, “Entah.”
Ateh terus membaca majalah tanpa menoleh kepada Ayah.


Ayah tanya Alang, “Mana Mak?”


Alang tidak jawab. Alang hanya mengoncang bahu tanda tidak tahu.
Ayah tidak mahu tanya Kak Cik dan Adik yang sedang melayan facebook. Ayah tahu yang Ayah tidak akan dapat jawapan yang ayah mahu.
Tidak ada siapa tahu di mana Mak. Tidak ada siapa merasa ingin tahu di mana Mak. Mata dan hati anak-anak Mak tidak pada Mak. Hanya mata dan hati Ayah yang mencari-cari di mana Mak.
Tidak ada anak-anak Mak yang tahu setiap kali ayah bertanya, "Mana Mak?"
Tiba-tiba adik bungsu bersuara, “Mak ni dah senja-senja pun merayap lagi. Tak reti nak balik!!”


Tersentap hati Ayah mendengar kata-kata Adik.


Dulu anak-anak Mak akan berlari mendakap Mak apabila balik dari sekolah. Mereka akan tanya "Mana Mak?" apabila Mak tidak menunggu mereka di depan pintu.


Mereka akan tanya, "Mana Mak." Apabila dapat nomor 1 atau kaki melecet main bola di padang sekolah. Mak resah apabila anak-anak Mak lambat balik. Mak mahu tahu di mana semua anak-anaknya berada setiap waktu dan setiap ketika.


Sekarang anak-anak sudah besar. Sudah lama anak-anak Mak tidak bertanya 'Mana Mak?"


Semakin anak-anak Mak besar, soalan "Mana Mak?" semakin hilang dari bibir anak-anak Mak .


Ayah berdiri di depan pintu menunggu Mak. Ayah resah menunggu Mak kerana sudah senja sebegini Mak masih belum balik. Ayah risau kerana sejak akhir-akhir ini Mak selalu mengadu sakit lutut.


Dari jauh kelihatan sosok Mak berjalan memakai payung yang sudah uzur. Besi-besi payung tercacak keluar dari kainnya. Hujan masih belum berhenti. Mak menjinjit dua bungkusan plastik. Sudah kebiasaan bagi Mak, Mak akan bawa sesuatu untuk anak-anak Mak apabila pulang dari berjalan.


Sampai di halaman rumah Mak berhenti di depan deretan kereta anak-anak Mak. Mak buangkan daun-daun yang mengotori kereta anak-anak Mak. Mak usap bahagian depan kereta Ateh perlahan-lahan. Mak rasakan seperti mengusap kepala Ateh waktu Ateh kecil. Mak senyum. Kedua bibir Mak diketap repat. Senyum tertahan, hanya Ayah yang faham. Sekarang Mak tidak dapat lagi merasa mengusap kepala anak-anak seperti masa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu. Mereka sudah besar. Mak takut anak Mak akan menepis tangan Mak kalau Mak lakukannya.
Lima buah kereta milik anak-anak Mak berdiri megah. Kereta Ateh paling gah. Mak tidak tahu pun apa kehebatan kereta Ateh itu. Mak cuma suka warnanya. Kereta warna merah bata, warna kesukaan Mak. Mak belum merasa naik kereta anak Mak yang ini.


Baju mak basah kena hujan. Ayah tutupkan payung mak. Mak bagi salam. Salam Mak tidak berjawab. Terketar-ketar lutut Mak melangkah anak tangga. Ayah pimpin Mak masuk ke rumah. Lutut Mak sakit lagi.


Mak letakkan bungkusan di atas meja. Sebungkus rebung dan sebungkus kueh koci pemberian Mak Uda untuk anak-anak Mak. Mak Uda tahu anak-anak Mak suka makan kueh koci dan Mak malu untuk meminta untuk bawa balik. Namun raut wajah Mak sudah cukup membuat Mak Uda faham.


Semasa menerima bungkusan kueh koci dari Mak Uda tadi, Mak sempat berkata kepada Mak Uda, "Wah berebutlah budak-budak tu nanti nampak kueh koci kamu ni."


Sekurang-kurangnya itulah bayangan Mak. Mak bayangkan anak-anak Mak sedang gembira menikmati kueh koci sebagimana masa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu. Mereka berebut dan Mak jadi hakim pembuat keputusan muktamat. Sering kali Mak akan beri bahagian Mak supaya anak-anak Mak puas makan. Bayangan itu sering singgah di kepala Mak.


Ayah suruh Mak tukar baju yang basah itu. Mak akur.


Selepas Mak tukar baju, Ayah iring Mak ke dapur. Mak ajak anak-anak Mak makan kueh koci. Tidak seorang pun yang menoleh kepada Mak. Mata dan hati anak-anak Mak sudah bukan pada Mak lagi.


Mak hanya tunduk, akur dengan keadaan.


Ayah tahu Mak sudah tidak boleh mengharapkan anak-anak melompat-lompat gembira dan berlari mendakapnya seperti dulu.


Ayah temankan Mak makan. Mak menyuap nasi perlahan-lahan, masih mengharapkan anak-anak Mak akan makan bersama. Setiap hari Mak berharap begitu. Hanya Ayah yang duduk bersama Mak di meja makan setiap malam.
Ayah tahu Mak penat sebab berjalan jauh. Siang tadi Mak pergi ke rumah Mak Uda di kampung seberang untuk mencari rebung. Mak hendak masak rebung masak lemak cili api dengan ikan masin kesukaan anak-anak Mak.


Ayah tanya Mak kenapa Mak tidak telepon suruh anak-anak jemput. Mak jawab, "Saya dah suruh Uda telepon budak-budak ni tadi. Tapi Uda kata semua tak berangkat."


Mak minta Mak Uda telepon anak-anak yang Mak tidak boleh berjalan balik sebab hujan. Lutut Mak akan sakit kalau sejuk. Ada sedikit harapan di hati Mak agar salah seorang anak Mak akan menjemput Mak dengan kereta. Mak teringin kalau Ateh yang datang menjemput Mak dengan kereta barunya. Tidak ada siapa yang datang jemput Mak.


Mak tahu anak-anak mak tidak sedar telepon berbunyi. Mak ingat kata-kata ayah, “Kita tak usah susahkan anak-anak. Selagi kita mampu kita buat saja sendiri apa-apa pun. Mereka ada kehidupan masing-masing. Tak payah sedih-sedih. Maafkan sajalah anak-anak kita. Tak apalah kalau tak merasa menaiki kereta mereka sekarang. Nanti kalau kita mati kita masih ada peluang merasa anak-anak mengangkat kita kat bahu mereka.”

Mak faham buah hati Mak semua sudah besar. Along dan Angah sudah beristeri. Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik masing-masing sudah punya buah hati sendiri yang sudah mengambil tempat Mak di hati anak-anak Mak.

Pada suapan terakhir, setitik air mata Mak jatuh ke pinggan.


Kueh koci masih belum diusik oleh anak-anak Mak.


Beberapa tahun kemudian


Mak Uda tanya Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik, “Mana mak?”.


Hanya Adik yang jawab, “Mak dah tak ada.”


Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik tidak sempat melihat Mak waktu Mak sakit.


Kini Mak sudah berada di sisi Tuhannya bukan di sisi anak-anak Mak lagi.
Dalam isakan tangis, Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik menerpa kubur Mak. Hanya batu nisan yang berdiri terpacak. Batu nisan Mak tidak boleh bersuara. Batu nisan tidak ada tangan macam tangan Mak yang selalu memeluk erat anak-anaknya apabila anak-anak datang menerpa Mak semasa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu.


Mak pergi semasa Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik berada jauh di bandar. Kata Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik mereka tidak dengar handphone berbunyi semasa ayah telepon untuk beritahu mak sakit tenat.


Mak faham, mata dan telinga anak-anak Mak adalah untuk orang lain bukan untuk Mak.


Hati anak-anak Mak bukan milik Mak lagi. Hanya hati Mak yang tidak pernah diberikan kepada sesiapa, hanya untuk anak-anak Mak..
Mak tidak sempat merasa diangkat di atas bahu anak-anak Mak. Hanya bahu ayah yang sempat mengangkat jenazah Mak dalam hujan renyai.


Ayah sedih sebab tiada lagi suara Mak yang akan menjawab soalan Ayah,


"Mana Along?" , "Mana Angah?", "Mana Ateh?", "Mana Alang?", "Mana Kak Cik?" atau "Mana Adik?". Hanya Mak saja yang rajin menjawab soalan ayah itu dan jawapan Mak memang tidak pernah silap. Mak sentiasa yakin dengan jawapannya sebab mak ambil tahu di mana anak-anaknya berada pada setiap waktu dan setiap ketika. Anak-anak Mak sentiasa di hati Mak tetapi hati anak-anak Mak ada orang lain yang mengisinya.
Ayah sedih. Di tepi kubur Mak, Ayah bermonolog sendiri, "Mulai hari ini tidak perlu bertanya lagi kepada Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik , " Mana mak ?" "


Kereta merah Ateh bergerak perlahan membawa Ayah pulang. Along, Angah, Alang dan Adik mengikut dari belakang. Hati ayah hancur teringat hajat Mak untuk naik kereta merah Ateh tidak kesampaian. Ayah terbayang kata-kata Mak malam itu, "Cantiknya kereta Ateh, kan Bang? Besok-besok Ateh bawalah kita jalan-jalan kat Kuala Lumpur tu. Saya akan buat kueh koci buat bekal."


"Ayah, ayah....bangun." Suara Ateh memanggil ayah. Ayah pengsan sewaktu turun dari kereta Ateh..


Terketar-ketar ayah bersuara, "Mana Mak?"


Ayah tidak mampu berhenti menanya soalan itu. Sudah 10 tahun Mak pergi namun soalan " Mana Mak? " masih sering keluar dari mulut Ayah sehingga ke akhir usia.



Sebuah cerita pendek buat tatapan anak-anak yang kadang-kadang lupa perasaan ibu. Kata orang hidup seorang ibu waktu muda dilambung resah, apabila tua dilambung rasa . Kata Rasulullah saw. ibu 3 kali lebih utama dari ayah. Bayangkanlah berapa kali ibu lebih utama dari isteri, pekerjaan dan anak-anak sebenarnya . Solat sunat pun Allah suruh berhenti apabila ibu memanggil. Berapa kerapkah kita membiarkan deringan telepon panggilan dari ibu tanpa berjawab?

To my mum, Puan Hajjah Normah Noordin, i love you and forgive all my mistakes..

Lissa & Hanie

Look at Hanie, disturbing Lissa. Kelakar betul tengok Lissa mengipas-ngipas tangan Hanie.

Lissa posing depan stroller adik dia..

Latest Hanie's pix. Now she learns how to smile and laugh. sometimes terkekek². takut gak kalu dia gelak mcm tu mlm².huhu

 Second try Lissa on this musical ride. Lasted for less than a minute

 At last, Hanie temankan kakak dia..

Lissa's hobby lately.. any kain batik, or blanket, or abah's kain pelekat..jadi mangsa

I love my life now. I am definitely a happy mother of two. Alhamdulillah, God give me these two girls to fulfill our life.

Now, we are planning for a better living space, i'd say, something that we can call home - not that this apt we cant call home. it's just that this apt wasn't complete at all. no kitchen cabinet (yeah, not easy for me to do the cooking-harap² berasaplah dapur baru. berkobar² je minta kitchen cabinet kat mr hubby..hehe), no grill, not enough curtain, etc... kalau nak complaint tu, mcm2..huhu

The checklist begun since last year.

Kitchen cabinet - checked

Grill - checked

Wiring - checked

Lightings and fans - checked

Store (bawah tangga) - in progress - 80%

Cornish (cannot afford plaster ceiling for the whole house - plus it was not a value-added thingy-reasoning i tgave mr hubby yg beria sgt nak) - in progress - 50%

Sofa - checked - waiting delivery

Dining table - checked - waiting delivery

Curtain - checked -waiting delivery & installation by Macy.

The most satifying item above is : the curtain! definitely! a big thumbs up for Macy and Macy sale agent, Musa, who has been so helpful in terms of selecting the curtains, selecting the best options of packages, etc.. I was surprised that this guy knows a lot compared to me. It's either french pleat, roman blind, pencil pleats..i was impressed!

A lot of fabric to choose from! Those were only for night curtains. For day curtain/sheer, Macy has bundles of them. Lagi pening kepala akak nak pilih..hehe..
Now, i'm just waiting for the delivery. anyhow, need to make sure our house is ready, then only we can inform Macy people to come for installation. yes, free installation above RM400. :) big smile!
Hopefully everything went well. we planned to move out after Raya.. This bulan puasa, all of us too tired to pack up things.. mmg byk brg nak kena kemas.. slow and steady.
All these are for our sweethearts ..

Love you both so much!

xoxo

~Mama & Abah~

Nothing in this world could replace them

A mother of two!
Early last year, i didn't really think it was my thing

But today, it definitely is!
I'm now a mom of two. two kids. to be specific, one toddler and one baby.
Funny how time flies sooooo fast!
i still think i'm very young. and so young.
By having two kids, really makes me looked old..(sad)
but..
I am so lucky to have these two lil person in my life.
I've been blessed to be a mother of two.
Seriously..
though those days that I've gone through did test my patience.
but i'm blessed..and definitely HAPPY

Left : Lissa. Right : Hanie.

Nur Adriana Lissa Maisarah - or as we called her, Lissa - was born on 2nd October 2009, 1:52 pm, weighted 2.47 kg. Has always been our soul these almost 2 years..and will continue til the end of time.
Nur : Light (in Malay: Cahaya), Adriana : Fraction (in Malay: Nisbah) -InsyaAllah, will be bright in Math, Lissa : Devoted to God (in Malay: Taat kepada Tuhan) ,Maisarah : richness, happiness (in Malay: kekayaan, kegembiraan, kesenangan)

Nur Aireena Hanie Myazara - or as we called her, Hanie - was born on 21st April 2011, 12:16 pm, weighted 2.50 kg. Has been our pride and joy..and will always be..
Nur : Light (in Malay: Cahaya),Aireena : To Continue, Hanie : Happy, delighted, content, Myazara : Clever, Princess

There was not much difference between these two girls. Both have made our life cheerful and eventful. Both never been like "those" babies who kept on crying. no..no.. they never made our night sleepless. Both are easy to handle.

sometimes they did look almost the same..

sometimes hanie looks chubbier than lissa 

But one thing definitely for sure is :
i recycled most of Lissa's clothes for Hanie..hehehe!!

Lissa has become a very responsible elder sister. She listens to me, most of the times.. whenever i asked her to pick up things, or to put things back, or to get diapers, or lotion, she did as what i asked. Looking at her, i can see much much matured toddler in her. before, she still confused what is this small person doing in her house, or cuddling with mama, but now she knows that this lil person, is not just a 'bibi' (read: baby), but this is her "adek" and "yanie" (read: hanie).

Mama & Abah love you, kakak! You'll always be our diamond.

Mama & Abah love you, too, Hanie bam bam, our pearl forever.

Lissa learns to be a cheerful and funny elder sis.

She wont let me took picture of her sis alone. nak jugak interframe ;)

For whatever it is, i love them so very much, with all my heart..
Nothing in this world could replace them.