Sunday, October 25, 2009

Motherhood : A New Chapter

Yes, i'm still on maternity leave. Countdown to 24th day - still have 36 days to go. My daily schedule most likely not different from the other day. Wake up in the morning around 7 or 8 am, take a warm bath, prepare cloth for my baby when my mom/my sister/my husband take her for a bath, nurse/breastfed my baby, eat either bfast or brunch before she wakes up for another session of nursing, watch tv or try to sleep which usually i failed to, nurse her every 2 hour, take a warm bath some time around 7 pm, nurse her again before i had my dinner, have dinner, watch tv, then sleep. yup, i have to wake up every 2 or 3 hours (very lucky of i had a full 4 hours sleep) to nurse her, change her diapers, then try to sleep which will take me almost 1 hr before i get my eyes to shut completely. total sleeping hours maximum was around 3 hours per night.

Now i know how difficult it is to be a mother. Now i appreciate and adore my mom more than before! Nursing and breastfeeding really requires commitment and sacrifice. it's all about the swollen, the soreness, the pain. if somehow i couldn't stand the pain, it will probably lead to frustration and the end of the breastfeeding. but thinking about my baby, all the nutrition n antibody received from the beast milk, i have to be strong. and a plus for me, my husband has been so supportive that he always give me massage on my shoulder after some tired sessions of nursing. he even told me that after my confinement, he'll bring me to spa for relaxation trip. I'm so lucky to have him as my husband even after some stressful and intense moments.

Sometimes I really want to get back to work. Getting bored day by day. However, when I think about my baby, time to let her go and send her to a nursery, my heart breaks. I can't stand the fact that she'll be left with some strangers. come to think about it, i rather stay at home for even a year! A question about to be a stay home mom sometimes cross my mind. Come to think about it, there will be a big benefit for my baby, however, how could i waste my 4 years of engineering degree i did at Purdue University. hmm.. again sacrifice? for now, I'm not ready for that big sacrifice. i hope i could manage time as a working mom, and still spend quality time with my baby and my husband, and also cope with house chores. Pray and pray.. hoping everything's gonna be alrite. amin..

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