A New Beginning: Parenting Tips : Sibling Rivalry

Not that I am an expert..but I am on the opposite side, seeking for advice from those parents who have gone through this process and succeed.

Time to hug- tactics to get attention

I've posted a status yesterday in Facebook seeking for advice from parents out there who have the experience on handling the sibling rivalry.
Here are some of the advice:

They wanted the attention

Find the root cause.. or find their papa/abah! hehe good one!

Sabar and sabar...(which wasn't my forte!)

And as usual, Mr Google helps me with more experts opinion.

Let see what Kids Health says (click here for full article):

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's common for brothers and sisters to fight. (It's also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other!)Soo true!

It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch — and hear — your kids fight with one another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to know how to stop the fighting, and or even whether you should get involved at all. But you can take steps to promote peace in your household and help your kids get along.

Why Kids Fight

Evolving needs. It's natural for kids' changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they'll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler's toy, the older child may react aggressively.
Individual temperaments. Your kids' individual temperaments — including mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Hanie usually a bit laid-back. Yang mengalah, bukan nya kakak, but Hanie
Special needs/sick kids.
Role models. The way that parents resolve problems and disagreements sets a strong example for kids. So if you and your spouse work through conflicts in a way that's respectful, productive, and not aggressive, you increase the chances that your children will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another. If your kids see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when you have problems, they're likely to pick up those bad habits themselves. Alamak, need to control my patience and not to shout at Lissa whener this happen.
What to Do When the Fighting Starts

While it may be common for brothers and sisters to fight, it's certainly not pleasant for anyone in the house. And a family can only tolerate a certain amount of conflict. So what should you do when the fighting starts?

Whenever possible, don't get involved. ... By the same token, rescued kids may feel that they can get away with more because they're always being "saved" by a parent. Kesimpulannye, buat bodoh je kalau they started fighting. which sort of wut i did nowadays. in my mind, lantak korang la...

Even then, encourage them to resolve the crisis themselves. If you do step in, try to resolve problems with your kids, not for them.

When getting involved, here are some steps to consider:
- Separate kids until they're calm. Sometimes it's best just to give them space for a little while and not immediately rehash the conflict. Otherwise, the fight can escalate again. If you want to make this a learning experience, wait until the emotions have died down.
- Don't put too much focus on figuring out which child is to blame. It takes two to fight — anyone who is involved is partly responsible.
- Next, try to set up a "win-win" situation so that each child gains something. When they both want the same toy, perhaps there's a game they could play together instead. This is the toughest, i guess!
Helping Kids Get Along

Simple things you can do every day to prevent fighting include:
Set ground rules for acceptable behavior. Erm..mcm tak bley apply jeik. Lissa and Hanie, both tak makan saman!
Don't let kids make you think that everything always has to be "fair" and "equal" — sometimes one kid needs more than the other. Okay!!(with raising eyebrows)
Make sure kids have their own space and time to do their own thing — to play with toys by themselves, to play with friends without a sibling tagging along, or to enjoy activities without having to share 50-50. Lissa, you have this privilege, okay!!
Have fun together as a family. As in, start spending more quality times with them.

Keep in mind that sometimes kids fight to get a parent's attention.This is soooo true!!! If Hanie already sitting on me, Lissa datang sibuk nak jugak "sit kat mama. Hanie tepilah!"
But within a split second, they get along together so well!